She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
