I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Randomize
