If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Randomize
