I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
