How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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