Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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