4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
