I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
