but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Randomize
