dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
