We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
