Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
