Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
