there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Randomize
