Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
