so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
