I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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