Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
