I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
