sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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