i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Randomize
