is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
