i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
