She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Randomize
