bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
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