I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
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