So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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