a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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