It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
