I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Randomize
