she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
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