I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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