Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Randomize
