Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
