Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize
