Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Randomize
