she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
