What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize