Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
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