What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
