so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
