my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Randomize
