I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
