i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
