I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
