Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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