First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
