nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
We left an ass print on the piano.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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