p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Randomize
