i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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