At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Randomize
