I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
