okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Randomize
