someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
