**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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