grandma shit on top of the toilet
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Randomize
