If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
vagina is talking i cant
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize
