We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
My balls are so social today.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
