Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Randomize