I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Randomize
