i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
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