dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
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