I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
