he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
well you can't waste a boner
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
