Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Randomize
