I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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