I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Who wears a wallet chain?!
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Randomize