It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
